“I’m listening to someone give up. Someone I knew—someone I liked. I’m listening… but still, I’m too late.”
– Jay Asher (Author)
You are on this page because you are contemplating suicide or know someone that may be. This page is for both of you. You both can follow the steps below.
Either you are suffering from depression or you know someone who is. Multiple sources on the internet put the numbers at 1 out of every 7 – 10 teens who suffer from depression at any given time. This means two things: you are not alone and you know at least one other person who is depressed– a depression that may lead to a suicide or an attempt at one. If you are suffering from depression there is nothing in writing that says you can’t help someone else.
We will use caregiver for both of you (since you can also care for yourself) and person @ risk for whomever may be contemplating suicide. Suicide is serious and final so take this seriously.
This page is a simple start for helping the person @ risk. If you, as the caretaker, feel the person @ risk is too far along then help direct them to a professional. There are counselors in schools and plenty of therapists available. If the person @ risk is in immediate danger contact 911 and/or the National Suicide Prevention Line: 800-273-8255. Or Text with someone on a Crisis Hotline: 741741.
Watch this from the Mayo Clinic for more information on recognizing signs of depression and suicidal thoughts.
Suicide Prevention is PREVENTION, INTERVENTION and POSTVENTION
PREVENTION is most important but it’s improbable to keep a person @ risk from thinking about suicide.
INTERVENTION is how to prevent the danger of suicide behavior.
POSTVENTION may be needed for a person @ risk that may injure themselves and for those around them that may be affected.
As the caregiver for those three actions start by listening. Hear what the person @ risk is saying and what is going on inside them. Look for and know the suicide Warning Signs. Ask questions and follow-up. Make a contract by creating a suicide safety plan. Suicide Prevention Handouts and resources can be found on this site.
Know the Warning Signs
From the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Some warning signs may help you determine if a loved one is at risk for suicide, especially if the behavior is new, has increased, or seems related to a painful event, loss, or change. If you or someone you know exhibits any of these, seek help by calling the Lifeline.
- Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves
- Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
- Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing or isolating themselves
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Extreme mood swings
Ask the person at risk
Ask the person @ risk what they think about dying and living. Help them make two lists. The first list is their reasons for dying. Take two very deep breaths and make the second list which is the reasons for living. A no nonsense, no BS list for living. Talk about the lists and reinforce the reasons for living. Have them keep that list with them at all times so they may refer to it when they go through a dark period. Have them write the Suicide Hotline phone and text numbers on the list.
Have the person @ risk write out a list of people they know will be there for them. Have them keep it with them at all times. Have them write the Suicide Hotline phone and text numbers on the list. They are not alone.
Reinforce the fact that you are there for them. They are not alone.
When listening and asking questions explore the past and the reasons that brought them to this point today.
When spending time with the person @ risk have a no cell phone policy. Social Media will be there when your time together is finished for the day. Turn off the ‘noise’ and make this all about a quality experience.
One other item to keep in mind if you are the caregiver. If, for some reason, you are unable to be there for the person @ risk you need to give them honest reasons why. Please don’t try to cover up with a made up explanation.
Honza always went quiet and inside himself when his biological father pointed fingers or tried to fabricate his way out of a circumstance. He’s a teenager, so he didn’t always like the honest answers we gave him either but he knew he could deal with it head on because it was real and wouldn’t change.
SIMPLE HELP TO DO LIST
Ask questions. Listen. Follow-up.
Ask if the person @ risk is thinking about suicide. Saying the words bring them into an honest conversation.
Look for early warning signs.
Help them slow down.
Help them make a safety plan.
Help them make a list of why they should live.
Take them out of their current environment. Get them moving.
Guide them to positive people.
Be Honest and True in your language and in your actions.
Be There.
OTHER WAYS TO HELP
Other ways to help is to join or volunteer at events around the country. You may go to our events page and see what is upcoming. You may also volunteer with some of the suicide crisis centers. Look at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline site for opportunities in your area.
Show them this list and reinforce all the things they are in control of. The person @ risk is not totally out of control.
Things You Can Control
- Your Beliefs
- Your attitude
- Your thoughts
- Your perspective
- How honest you are
- Who your friends are
- What books you read
- How often you exercise
- The type of food you eat
- How many risk you take
- How you interpret the situation
- How kind you are to others
- How kind you are to yourself
- How often you say “I love you.”
- How often you say “thank you.”
- How you express your feelings
- Whether or not you ask for help
- How often you practice gratitude
- How many times you smile today
- The amount of effort you put forth
- How you spend/invest your money
- How much time you spend worrying
- How often you think about your past
- Whether or not you judge other people
- Whether or not you try again after a setback
- How much you appreciate the things you have
Please note: We are not licensed in psychotherapy. We are giving you some things to think about that we learned during the suicide process. If you need further help please look to your school counselors or professional therapy.
National Suicide Prevention Line: 800-273-8255
To Text with someone on a Crisis Hotline: 741741.
If you need immediate help call 911.